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An update, of sorts

I wish I had some great news to share, but I don't. We did meet with our agency this week and learned of some new regulations that China has implemented. So, as not to bore you with details, we had to make the decision to close our adoption, or transfer to another agency, and we chose to change agencies. It's not really that big of a deal, accept that we LOVE our agency. We chose them because they were small and they take care of every aspect of the adoption. They basically call us and tell us when things need to be updated, they send us the paperwork to sign and we just do what we are told. We completely trust them. We will still use the same social worker, but as far as all the other paperwork and the actual trip (whenever it happens), that will all change. So, that's the update, sorry it is not more exciting.

The grim part of this whole process has been the ever growing wait. The news does not seem to be getting any better. Just to put it in perspective, if the referrals continue to come at the rate that they are right now we will get our referral in January 2016. Yes, you read that right, 2016! It is hard to be excited about something like that. Now, things could speed up, but they could also slow down, but it seems hard to believe that it could be slower. There is no apparent reason for the slow down, China is a communist country, they do not have to explain anything to anyone.

With the way that paperwork and government fees go we are in the process of updating our immigration papers (the papers that allow us to adopt a foreign child), we have to keep these current, and they expire every 18 months. Again, kinda boring, but they will be renewed in December and then will be good for 18 months, we will get a free renewal at that time (kinda weird, but you only pay for every other one) and then they are good for another 18 months. Essentially, once we do this update we know we are in for another three years. At that point, the end of 2012, we will need to decide if we are ready to do it all again. Our options are to drop out of the China adoption program altogether and count our losses (both monetary and emotional), or we can switch to the special needs program, or we can just wait it out. We have no way of knowing what we will do.

So we wait, just like we have been doing. We still believe we are doing what the Lord has called us to do, which is adopt a little girl from China. We had no idea that we would be waiting this long for her, and as hard as it is to wait, we are still confident that we are doing what is best for our family. We praise the Lord for giving us a daughter to love while we wait, and can't wait to see if He has any other children who will join our family! :)

2 years and counting...

It is hard to believe that we have officially been waiting for our little girl for 2 years.  When we started this journey we didn't really think we would be waiting this long, but it only took a few months of the wait times increasing rapidly, that we realized we were in this for much longer than we anticipated.  

So, how much longer, you might be wondering?  That is a great question.  When my sister recently asked me that same question she answered it for me before I had a chance, she said, "Two years from today?"  To that I responded, "Yup.  And 2 years from tomorrow and the day after that."  I spoke to our adoption agency not long ago and there are rumors of a speed up.  To that Kevin said, "A speed up from a dead stop still isn't very fast."  Now that may be a little sarcastic, but truthfully any news of a speed up is good news for us.  We have no idea how long it will be before we get to see her sweet face.  However, our desire for her is still the same, we can hardly wait.  Our love for her grows each day, and that is what I would like to talk about in the rest of this post.

God has blessed us in ways we never would have imagined in the past two years during our wait.  The most recent blessing was the birth of our sweet Macey.  Being a mom has completely changed everything, everyone always said it would, but until it happens you just cannot understand it.  We love her like we never imagined we could love anyone, it's more than love, it something that cannot be described.

I have many friends who have recently added a second child to their families.  Many of them worry how they can possibly have enough love for two children, always knowing that they will love their children equally, but the though of it is hard to wrap their mind around.  As soon as the second child arrives it is amazing how they instantly love their child, just like when their first child arrived.  Love just grows, no matter how many children you have there is always enough love to go around.

The reason I say all of this is so I can explain a little bit of where we are in terms of anticipating our baby girl.  You see, we loved her from the moment we knew she would be here.  Just like a pregnant mother loves her child the instant she knows she is pregnant, our love began to grow when we began the adoption process.  Most likely our little girl has not been born, but we love her as much as we possibly can given our circumstances.  So, Macey (although she is our oldest child) was the second child that we loved.  

When we found out that we were going to have a baby there was a strange part of me that felt like things were going out of order.  I had always imagined that my oldest child would be a little girl from China.  God had other plans, and since His plans are always perfect we were truly delighted.  We spent 9 months wondering if our oldest child was going to be a boy or a girl, and were so excited when it was a girl.  One of my first thoughts was, "Our baby girl from China has a sister!"

I wondered if by having a baby I would think less about the adoption and the long wait.  We are busy with all the challenges that a baby brings and really, all we are doing as far as the adoption goes is waiting.  But what I have found is the exact opposite, I find myself thinking of her so much more.  When Macey does something cute or funny, I think to myself "I wonder if our other daughter will do that?"  I wonder if our other daughter will be like Macey in personality, or will they be totally different.  I hope and pray that they will be friends, and thankful to God every day that my girls will have a sister!  You see, now I know what it means to love my child.  I always thought I knew, and I believe I loved to my ability at the time, but now I really know.  So my heart aches for her, in a much different way than before.

I wanted to find a "cute item of the month" that was very appropriate for this 2 year anniversary of waiting.  I didn't really know what that would be, until I was at Target.  I came across a onesie and knew that this was it.

Sticking with the panda theme this was perfect!  It says Mommy Loves Me.  I almost started crying in Target when I saw it, because the word love, especially in terms of my child, means so much more now than it ever did.  So yes, mommy loves her and can't wait for her to meet her dad and her big sister!

baby steps

OK, so we have made some progress, well, that is what I call it to remain positive.  There are a few steps along the adoption route that help you keep track of just where you are"in line."  First there is the LID, that is when your packet of info actually gets to China.  Then there is the review room, which is where your packet of info is reviewed and any questions regarding forms are asked and fixed if necessary.  Finally there is the matching room where your packet of info gets matched with your child. 

As you know, our LID is Feb 13, 2007.  That is basically our ID#.  Everything from here on out is in reference to that date.  So we watch the boards and see just who is getting referrals.  The latest referrals were given to people with LIDs between Feb 9-15, 2006.  So we are a year away as far as LIDs go, so probably a couple of years of waiting time.  However, we just learned that we are out of the review room.  This is the progress I was talking about.  This means our packet of official documents has been reviewed and approved!  We did not receive a phone call from our agency indicating that there were questions about our info, and that is a good thing.  Technically, it doesn't really mean we are any closer to meeting our little girl, but it is one more step.

We are still years away from getting a referral.  The people who just received their referrals waited 31 months.  There was a time when I thought we may wait 36 months, but it looks like that will not happen.  As of right now we have been waiting 20 months, and I am guessing we have about 24 months of waiting left.  I still believe it's all in God's timing, so we will wait patiently!

as good a news as I can find

Well, let me take this time to explain a little more about the adoption process, at least in China. Some of this I have already said, but maybe you need a review! We submitted our dossier (all the crazy paperwork we were required to fill out) in February 2007. When it arrived in China it was given an LID (log in date), ours is February 13, 2007. That is the date everything will be referenced to as long as we are waiting. Well, once your dossier gets logged in it basically sits in a filing cabinet until someone can review it. They are reviewed in the order they are received. SO...we think they have finished reviewing all dossiers through January 2007. Which means, ours will be reviewed shortly.

What does that mean? Well, not a whole lot. If they have questions about your dossier, i.e. with the homestudy, physicals or financial statement, they will call you to get it cleared up. If you do not give them the information they want or need you will be removed. Now, that might sounds scarey, but we totally trust our agency. They compiled our dossier for us (not all agencies do that) and made sure all i's were dotted and t's were crossed. We actually had to fill out a few of the forms numerous times because they found small errors. And now that I think about it, I had to have our Dr fill out another physical form for each of us because it was filled out in black ink and signed in blue ink. They are picky, but we are confident we got in right.

The dossier goes into the review room, and if everything checks out you don't hear a word from them until they post that February 2007 has been reviewed. At that point our dossier will not be looked at again until the match us with our daughter. In know it is a small step, but any step in that direction is great.

On another note, with the recent devastation from the huge earthquake in China I ask that you pray for the country as a whole. From reading some info sites it appears that all the major orphanages are ok. Some sustained damage, but so far there have been no reports of injuries from orphanages. I do not know if this will have any impact on the length of our wait. We don't really know why it is so long in the first place, so it is hard to know what will affect it and what will not. Regardless, the people in China need prayer!

nothing exciting

Well, there isn't any exciting news. People should be expecting referrals this week, which is very exciting for those families! The families receiving referrals have been waiting 2 years and 3 months. Now if that wait time would remain constant I would be able to guess when we might receive our referral, but it just doesn't work that way. Referrals are only sent out once a month, but they do not do a month at a time. In fact this month they only did 5 days of referrals. So, it could take about 4 months to get through one month of referral dates. WOW! Folks, more than ever before I have realized that this wait has only just begun!

cute item of the month

WOW! I can hardly believe it. 1 whole year. A year ago today the CCAA looked over our folder full of official documents, gave it a stamp and put us in the longest line we may ever have to wait in. Unbelievable. In some ways this year went fast, and I'm glad, because the number of years ahead of us is unknown. We'll just keep on keepin' on, because we know it will be pure joy when we are finally introduced to our daughter!!!

I have a very special cute item this month, it features two of the most special girls in my life. For Christmas Kevin and I were given the most precious gift for our daughter. Our nieces, Kymberli and Cari made our daughter a blanket and a pillow. As you can see the fabric is pink with pandas, there isn't a more perfect choice of our daughter. They spent time together making this so they could give it to us on Christmas, and sent with it a sweet little note about how they couldn't wait to meet their newest cousin. Talk about bringing and Auntie to tears, I was sobbing out loud.

I have said this before, but I cannot say it enough, our daughter is so lucky to have a family that loves her even before they have met her. Do you know how much it warms my heart to be able to tell her some day that people were praying for her, thinking about her and buying things for her years before they even knew her? It brings me to tears even now.

So I wanted to say a huge thank you to Kymberli and Cari for their kind hearts, and to their mothers for knowing how special little girls are.

All that being said, I think I am going to put the cute items on hold. I think I have said this before, the thought of coming up with roughly 18 items (when we thought our wait would be 18 months) wasn't too bad. However, now that our wait could reach 2-3 years from now that seems like a lot of stuff. I am not doubting that my family could keep up with it, but I think I'll put it on hold for a while. I may occasionally add any new information that we find out about our journey, but there isn't typically much to talk about. Thank you for being interested and for caring about our little family. Our daughter is so blessed!!!

*sidenote: I had a better picture, but for some reason I couldn't post it.