2 years and counting...

It is hard to believe that we have officially been waiting for our little girl for 2 years.  When we started this journey we didn't really think we would be waiting this long, but it only took a few months of the wait times increasing rapidly, that we realized we were in this for much longer than we anticipated.  

So, how much longer, you might be wondering?  That is a great question.  When my sister recently asked me that same question she answered it for me before I had a chance, she said, "Two years from today?"  To that I responded, "Yup.  And 2 years from tomorrow and the day after that."  I spoke to our adoption agency not long ago and there are rumors of a speed up.  To that Kevin said, "A speed up from a dead stop still isn't very fast."  Now that may be a little sarcastic, but truthfully any news of a speed up is good news for us.  We have no idea how long it will be before we get to see her sweet face.  However, our desire for her is still the same, we can hardly wait.  Our love for her grows each day, and that is what I would like to talk about in the rest of this post.

God has blessed us in ways we never would have imagined in the past two years during our wait.  The most recent blessing was the birth of our sweet Macey.  Being a mom has completely changed everything, everyone always said it would, but until it happens you just cannot understand it.  We love her like we never imagined we could love anyone, it's more than love, it something that cannot be described.

I have many friends who have recently added a second child to their families.  Many of them worry how they can possibly have enough love for two children, always knowing that they will love their children equally, but the though of it is hard to wrap their mind around.  As soon as the second child arrives it is amazing how they instantly love their child, just like when their first child arrived.  Love just grows, no matter how many children you have there is always enough love to go around.

The reason I say all of this is so I can explain a little bit of where we are in terms of anticipating our baby girl.  You see, we loved her from the moment we knew she would be here.  Just like a pregnant mother loves her child the instant she knows she is pregnant, our love began to grow when we began the adoption process.  Most likely our little girl has not been born, but we love her as much as we possibly can given our circumstances.  So, Macey (although she is our oldest child) was the second child that we loved.  

When we found out that we were going to have a baby there was a strange part of me that felt like things were going out of order.  I had always imagined that my oldest child would be a little girl from China.  God had other plans, and since His plans are always perfect we were truly delighted.  We spent 9 months wondering if our oldest child was going to be a boy or a girl, and were so excited when it was a girl.  One of my first thoughts was, "Our baby girl from China has a sister!"

I wondered if by having a baby I would think less about the adoption and the long wait.  We are busy with all the challenges that a baby brings and really, all we are doing as far as the adoption goes is waiting.  But what I have found is the exact opposite, I find myself thinking of her so much more.  When Macey does something cute or funny, I think to myself "I wonder if our other daughter will do that?"  I wonder if our other daughter will be like Macey in personality, or will they be totally different.  I hope and pray that they will be friends, and thankful to God every day that my girls will have a sister!  You see, now I know what it means to love my child.  I always thought I knew, and I believe I loved to my ability at the time, but now I really know.  So my heart aches for her, in a much different way than before.

I wanted to find a "cute item of the month" that was very appropriate for this 2 year anniversary of waiting.  I didn't really know what that would be, until I was at Target.  I came across a onesie and knew that this was it.

Sticking with the panda theme this was perfect!  It says Mommy Loves Me.  I almost started crying in Target when I saw it, because the word love, especially in terms of my child, means so much more now than it ever did.  So yes, mommy loves her and can't wait for her to meet her dad and her big sister!

baby steps

OK, so we have made some progress, well, that is what I call it to remain positive.  There are a few steps along the adoption route that help you keep track of just where you are"in line."  First there is the LID, that is when your packet of info actually gets to China.  Then there is the review room, which is where your packet of info is reviewed and any questions regarding forms are asked and fixed if necessary.  Finally there is the matching room where your packet of info gets matched with your child. 

As you know, our LID is Feb 13, 2007.  That is basically our ID#.  Everything from here on out is in reference to that date.  So we watch the boards and see just who is getting referrals.  The latest referrals were given to people with LIDs between Feb 9-15, 2006.  So we are a year away as far as LIDs go, so probably a couple of years of waiting time.  However, we just learned that we are out of the review room.  This is the progress I was talking about.  This means our packet of official documents has been reviewed and approved!  We did not receive a phone call from our agency indicating that there were questions about our info, and that is a good thing.  Technically, it doesn't really mean we are any closer to meeting our little girl, but it is one more step.

We are still years away from getting a referral.  The people who just received their referrals waited 31 months.  There was a time when I thought we may wait 36 months, but it looks like that will not happen.  As of right now we have been waiting 20 months, and I am guessing we have about 24 months of waiting left.  I still believe it's all in God's timing, so we will wait patiently!

as good a news as I can find

Well, let me take this time to explain a little more about the adoption process, at least in China. Some of this I have already said, but maybe you need a review! We submitted our dossier (all the crazy paperwork we were required to fill out) in February 2007. When it arrived in China it was given an LID (log in date), ours is February 13, 2007. That is the date everything will be referenced to as long as we are waiting. Well, once your dossier gets logged in it basically sits in a filing cabinet until someone can review it. They are reviewed in the order they are received. SO...we think they have finished reviewing all dossiers through January 2007. Which means, ours will be reviewed shortly.

What does that mean? Well, not a whole lot. If they have questions about your dossier, i.e. with the homestudy, physicals or financial statement, they will call you to get it cleared up. If you do not give them the information they want or need you will be removed. Now, that might sounds scarey, but we totally trust our agency. They compiled our dossier for us (not all agencies do that) and made sure all i's were dotted and t's were crossed. We actually had to fill out a few of the forms numerous times because they found small errors. And now that I think about it, I had to have our Dr fill out another physical form for each of us because it was filled out in black ink and signed in blue ink. They are picky, but we are confident we got in right.

The dossier goes into the review room, and if everything checks out you don't hear a word from them until they post that February 2007 has been reviewed. At that point our dossier will not be looked at again until the match us with our daughter. In know it is a small step, but any step in that direction is great.

On another note, with the recent devastation from the huge earthquake in China I ask that you pray for the country as a whole. From reading some info sites it appears that all the major orphanages are ok. Some sustained damage, but so far there have been no reports of injuries from orphanages. I do not know if this will have any impact on the length of our wait. We don't really know why it is so long in the first place, so it is hard to know what will affect it and what will not. Regardless, the people in China need prayer!

nothing exciting

Well, there isn't any exciting news. People should be expecting referrals this week, which is very exciting for those families! The families receiving referrals have been waiting 2 years and 3 months. Now if that wait time would remain constant I would be able to guess when we might receive our referral, but it just doesn't work that way. Referrals are only sent out once a month, but they do not do a month at a time. In fact this month they only did 5 days of referrals. So, it could take about 4 months to get through one month of referral dates. WOW! Folks, more than ever before I have realized that this wait has only just begun!

cute item of the month

WOW! I can hardly believe it. 1 whole year. A year ago today the CCAA looked over our folder full of official documents, gave it a stamp and put us in the longest line we may ever have to wait in. Unbelievable. In some ways this year went fast, and I'm glad, because the number of years ahead of us is unknown. We'll just keep on keepin' on, because we know it will be pure joy when we are finally introduced to our daughter!!!

I have a very special cute item this month, it features two of the most special girls in my life. For Christmas Kevin and I were given the most precious gift for our daughter. Our nieces, Kymberli and Cari made our daughter a blanket and a pillow. As you can see the fabric is pink with pandas, there isn't a more perfect choice of our daughter. They spent time together making this so they could give it to us on Christmas, and sent with it a sweet little note about how they couldn't wait to meet their newest cousin. Talk about bringing and Auntie to tears, I was sobbing out loud.

I have said this before, but I cannot say it enough, our daughter is so lucky to have a family that loves her even before they have met her. Do you know how much it warms my heart to be able to tell her some day that people were praying for her, thinking about her and buying things for her years before they even knew her? It brings me to tears even now.

So I wanted to say a huge thank you to Kymberli and Cari for their kind hearts, and to their mothers for knowing how special little girls are.

All that being said, I think I am going to put the cute items on hold. I think I have said this before, the thought of coming up with roughly 18 items (when we thought our wait would be 18 months) wasn't too bad. However, now that our wait could reach 2-3 years from now that seems like a lot of stuff. I am not doubting that my family could keep up with it, but I think I'll put it on hold for a while. I may occasionally add any new information that we find out about our journey, but there isn't typically much to talk about. Thank you for being interested and for caring about our little family. Our daughter is so blessed!!!

*sidenote: I had a better picture, but for some reason I couldn't post it.

cute item of the month

Well, I am actually on time...barely!  I have quite a few items waiting to be posted, so the next few months should be pretty good. 

Ok, so today is Kevin's 35th birthday!  HAPPY BIRTHDAY KEVIN!  He received his annual "bird package" from Stephanie.  I think I have explained this before, so I won't go into detail.  Just like our daughter has "her" animal, we all have a bird (all of us who are over 30).  Kevin's bird is a penguin, so he got his box full of penguins.  

This month's cute item is actually part of hi birthday gift.  It was, of course, given to him to be used by out daughter and it is quite cute!

It's a cute little baby towel with a hood, a wash cloth, a finger puppet (I think), a stuffed animal that I assume can get wet, and a washing mit (you know, you put it on your hand like a puppet, but it is used like a wash cloth).  Thanks Stephanie!

cute item of the month

Well it is almost Christmas and I have the perfect item for this month. These things came from Grandma Charlotte, and as always she has great taste. She sent them with a note that said that she put me in things like this when I was a little girl, so she thought my little girl needed the same.

HOW ADORABLE! Black patten leather shoes, pink ruffle socks and ruffle panties! I can see her now on Christmas Eve going to church! Thanks Mom!

cute item of the month

I know I know, it's not the 13th. And hey, what happened to October's item? I could go into the lengthy explanation, but that would bore you. Instead, I will introduce you to two items.

The cute pink t-shirt was supposed to be the October item. When my parents were in twon we went looking for something to put on the blog. We happened across this cute t-shirt. We thought it was so funny, first of all it is perfect for our situation. The funniest part to us was that the size was 18mo. Who, besides a child adopted from another country, would need to wear a "Hi, I'm new here" t-shirt at 18 mos? It was PERFECT! Thanks Mom!

The book in the picture represents November's item. Aunt Stephanie is still at it. She sent me this cute book called "Panda Bear, Panda Bear, What Do you See?" All I know is that this little girl better like Pandas! :)

Now that I have fulfilled my cute items of the month I will update you on our process. We are just waiting. The fall is the busiest time of year for me, so it flew by, but the idea of the wait seems to weigh pretty heavy on me when I think about it. I am excited, because I know there is a child at the end of this journey, but the wait is so long. Our agency is not even guessing how long our wait could be, there is just no way to know.

My plan is to do a few more cute items of the month, probably until we have been waiting for a year,a nd then it will go on hold until we get a little closer. The truth is, it is hard to buy things a few years in advance and try to act excited. When the wait was going to be about 18 months to 2 years I thought that finding one item a month would be fun. With the wait reaching 3 years and maybe longer, it seems more like a chore. Please continue to pray for our daughter and also the people in China who will ultimately choose her to be a part of our family.

a little late

I know it's a little late, but I'll post the Cute Item of the Month later this evening.

One year later

I just realized that today is an anniversary of sorts. On September 27, 2006 we had a meeting with Hope International. This was a purely informative meeting. Dawn told us all about Chinese adoptions and gave us an overview of the whole process, and as we left with our heads spinning, we knew we had a big decision ahead of us. We went out to a really nice restaurant to talk about all that we had just heard and by the end of dinner we had decided that it was time.

Today is the one year anniversary of the day we signed a contract with Hope, the "official" beginning of our adoption. In some ways this year has flown by, then reality hits, this was only one year of the many we will wait. We are so grateful to have chosen Hope to guide us through this process. They have been nothing but helpful and encouraging. Dawn always has all the answers, Eliza is one of those people you feel like you have known forever, and Holly is so encouraging and an interested listener. We love our agency!

Thank you for your continued prayers. We know that we have an army of people praying for us and our daughter.

cute item of the month

Did you think I forgot? I wouldn't do such a thing. It's been a busy day, but I definitely didn't forget.

I know, more Pandas, but this is the first outfit ever purchased just for her! My mom bought it from Gymboree and you can see why. Charlotte is always looking for a bargain, and these were on sale and they were perfect.

Can't you just see her in this cute sweater and shirt? I can hardly wait!!!

cute item of the month

So, I'll take a break from the pandas for a month. I did not take my own picture of this item, I borrowed it from Target.com

These are her curtains! Aren't they adorable? I thought they were very feminine, but not too frilly. We had some wallpaper growing up that was black and white flowers, it reminds me of that. However, that wallpaper was shiny and much guadier (if that's even a word).

I feel like we have reached a mini-milestone, we've been waiting 6 months! Now, I hope the next 6 months goes by just as fast.

great news

So, all of a sudden last week I realized that our LID fell two days after the Chinese New Year. Well, all government offices in China are closed for a week after the Chinese New Year. My first thought was "Oh no, they meant March 20. That means I have waited 4 months, not 5." So I contacted my agency and she just emailed me, our LID is February 13! I was pleasantly surprised. In reality what is one week when we will probably wait 3 years, but it was something to get excited about!

So, be checking this blog on the 13th of every month!

cute item of the month

I'm going to continue with our theme of pandas, next month I venture out and show you something else. This Panda is extremely special. For Christmas my mom gave this to me. It is to be given to our daughter when she gets here, but it sits in my room until then. It is my prayer bear! Many of you know about the places that you can make your own stuffed animal, well this is one of those. Of any of you have made your own stuffed animal you know that they ask you to make a wish and then you place the heart inside the bear. Well, my bear has a heart that was prayed over by 6 very special women. My mom has the dearest friends in the world, they have prayed for me in every phase of my life. Caryl, Pat, Terri, Shelly, Rita and my mom are prayer warriors, and they did not stop short when it came to our decision to adopt. They have each prayed for our daughter and sent some special prayers for us as well.

Not only do I think of our daughter when I see this bear, but I think of my mom and her amazing friends! Thanks mom! When our daughter arrives she will know that from the moment we knew she was going to be a part of our family she was prayed for!

cute item of the month

This month the cute item is a book. It was given to me on my birthday from Stephanie. As you will see it is not really for me, but I'm sure I will read it to my daughter once or twice.

As you can see it is called "That's not my bear..." by Fiona Watt. It is a "touchy-feely book," I did not make that up, it says it on the back. Each page has a certain texture on a different type of bear. The bear on the cover has a rough nose. The other textures are soft, fuzzy, scratchy and shiny. The whole reason this book was purchased for our baby is the last page...

The panda theme continues!

i can't say it enough...

we are in for a LONG wait. I don't know how else to say it. People are constantly asking me how long until we get our baby, the truth is I don't know. I do know that it isn't looking good. I think we are in the only line that actually gets longer as we wait in it. I'm not kidding! I've said this before, but in October when we started this process we were told we may wait about 15 months from our LID (2/20/07). Then by the time we got our LID we knew we would be waiting at least 18 months. Then (just to be on the safe side) we are predicting 24 months from our LID, but the truth is it could be as long as 36 months. The reality is we may not have a child until 2010. Again, I'm not kidding! I am trying to stay positive. We are in this for the long haul, as we feel it is not our decision, but a choice that God has made for us. Kevin is, of course, just fine with whatever happens. I, on the other hand, do a lot of questioning and wondering if we should look into other programs. I can't imagine that our child is anywhere but China, I just never guessed it would take so long to get her.

The reason I am posting this now is because we just had a get-together with some of the other China families from our agency. There was one couple who had a 2 1/2 year old waiting for a referral for #2, one family had been home for 2 months with their little girl and another couple just received their referral last week. So we got to talk to people from all different phases of the wait. I couldn't help but get a little sad when people would ask us where we are in the wait and I would say "Oh, we just got logged in in February." Their reactions were all the same "Oh, then you really have a long wait."

I'm not trying to get sympathy or make you feel sorry for us having to wait. It's all in God's perfect timing. He has shown me that too many times at this point in my life for me not to trust Him. I just want everyone (or at least those who read this) to know that it will be years before we meet our child and bring her home. So, until then we will talk about her, pray for her and just go on living like we have been. When the day comes that she is finally with us all of this waiting will seem like ancient history. I may not be a mother for a few more years, but I have been an Auntie for 17, and I just LOVE it! There is a baby at the end of this journey, I know that for sure.

I have clung to this verse in times when I needed some encouragment. It was given to me when I graduated high school, but I didn't realize it's significance until after college.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5,6

small victories

OK, so this doesn't mean a whole lot to anyone but us (or those in the IA community), but I wanted to share. We had to file an I-600A with the USCIS to get approved to adopt a child from another country. Originally when we filed this in November it cost us $685 for the form and two sets of fingerprints. Well, it expires after 18 months (well, the fingerprints expire after 15 months...who knew fingerprints would expire!), which means we will have to update our I-600A at least once before we go to China. Well, the USCIS just upped the fees to $830 to file and have two sets of fingerprints. But, much to our surprise, and due to the complaints of many potential adoptive parents, the USCIS is giving each family one FREE update! WOW, the government is giving us something free! So, we essentially just saved $830. We don't have to renew ours until April 2008, but when we do it will be free!!!

Cute Item of the Month

Wow, there are some anxious people waiting for this cute item. Just to clarify, I will post it on the 20th of every month. Today we have officially been waiting for three months!

This was her very first gift given to her by her Aunt Stephanie. Of course, we all know about the Giant Pandas in China, so this is where the collection begins. As you can imagine this is a common theme among people adopting from China, and our baby is already on her way to a large collection (as you will see this theme continue!).

A little more information regarding the panda. Stephanie is the most creative in our family (second to my mother) and she gives each one of us a bird themed 30th birthday. What I mean is, on Jill's 30th she got 30 flamingo items in the mail, I got 30 chicken items, Kevin got 30 penguin items. For each birthday after that we get our "bird." So, Steph wanted to give our daughter an animal, and so she got a panda. As soon as we made our announcement that we were adopting Stephanie was quick to find a theme! Thanks Steph, you are always so thoughtful.

inspiration

I have come up with an idea. It is not original, but I will definitely give credit where it is due. Today we have been "officially" waiting 2 months for our child! I'm still not sure of too many people read this, there's never much to comment on so I don't expect ya'll to say anything, but for those of you who do read it I wanted to give you something to look forward to. The 20th of every month I will feature a "Cute Item of the Month." My inspiration: Aaron and Christa Wiens. Some of you know them so you know about the Ugly Item of the Week, but for those of you who don't here is what it is. Aaron and Christa lived in beautiful (hahaha) Florida for what seemed like an eternity to them. They lived in a tiny little, fully furnished place. Well, the furnishings were hideous, so they began a weekly blog showing some of the wonderful items they got to look at and use every day. It was one of the ways that they tried to smile at a not so pleasant experience, sort of like a count down until they could leave. So, with that in mind I am going to try and have fun while I wait to bring my child home.

Like I said before, the 2oth of every month, which will act as a countdown (or up really, but that sounds funny) until we receive our referral. You will also get a glimpse of things purchased for her or her room. So here is the very first Cute Item of the Month:

This was the very first item purchsed for her room. I saw these lamps and had to have them. I bought two of them and will decorate her room around them. I guess you could call the motif retro, but not over the top retro.

hm...

So, our agency does not send us too many emails. They do, however, send us important information. So after a conference that the two directors attended they had some important things to say to those of us adopting from China. First, our wait will be longer than 18 months. This is something we already knew, but it kind of hurts to hear someone "in charge" say it. Also, they explained that the reason for the long wait is due to the high number of dossiers in China. The process to get a baby ready for adoption takes a ton of paperwork. This paperwork is actually what makes China's such a stable program. So, they just cannot keep up with the number of requests. There are still many children in need of homes, but the paperwork required to get them ready just takes a long time.

Just thought I'd share everything I know.